“What do you do when you are too far in your masculine or your feminine?”
“How do you balance them out so that you can feel at harmony inside of your body and inside of your business?”
So I want to start off this conversation by saying that your masculine and feminine energy inside of your body are not two separate entities.
I feel like so many of us think of it as like we have the masculine part of us and the feminine part of us and they are two completely different things -- like the devil and the angel on either shoulder of the body. One of them is louder than the other or we’re more guided by one or the other. And if I listen to one of them too closely, then the other one can't stand up and speak and it's causing me to be out of balance. That is false. They are both you and they are not two separate things.
And regardless of gender, you have both masculine and feminine energy inside of you. They are both guiding you. They are both absolutely beautiful. I feel like the masculine kind of gets a bad rep in this industry, especially in the business industry. But neither of them are bad. They're both very necessary. They're both absolutely beautiful. And when we say “masculine” or “feminine’ energy, it really is just to give it a name.
The polarity and energy inside of the body is like the left brain and right brain. It's still one brain. It's still one operation. One is just a very intuitive, creative one that is very logical and strategic, but they both have to work together synchronistically to create magic. So really knowing the vision that you have for your life and mastering these two energies inside of that is going to be the key to your alignment. Knowing when you're in alignment, knowing when something feels off, knowing when we've gone too far in one realm or the other, knowing how to get your flow back.
You can feel connected so you can feel aligned. You can achieve epic things in your life in a way that feel flowy and easy. We can get rid of burnout, rigidity, overwhelm deflation, but also we can get rid of self doubt and brain fog and all of the things that we do tend to experience when we go one way or the other.
So if you are not getting the results that you want, if you're not getting the clients that you want, if you're not seeing the success that you crave, feeling like you can't show up for yourself and your vision, chances are you are out of alignment somewhere inside of your energy. And that's all good. Let's dive into it. Polarity and sacred union of these two beautiful energies so that you can come back into balance and harmony inside of your life. Fucking yay. Amen. Yes.
When the feminine energy is imbalanced, it might sound like people pleasing, mind clutter, procrastination, confusion, codependency, decisiveness, and lack of boundaries.
Does it sound like you? When the divine feminine is in balance, feminine is flow creativity, abundance, intuition, receptivity, the divine feminine is that part of you.
That is who you are, who you are born to be your soul's mission -- when you were put here on this planet, who you are here to be the expression of who you are, the vibrancy of who you are, what makes you unique and different and playful, all of those parts of you, that is your divine feminine. So when we get disconnected from the part of us that understands what our purpose is, what we're here to do, what lights us up, what makes us curious and makes us want to show up in the world and do our Dharma, that is the divine feminine.
The divine feminine isn't this part of us that needs to do self-care or be in the inner sensuality and all of these things to unleash some feminine energy that is not already inside of us. We're all born with divine feminine energy but a lot of us forget how to nurture it.
When we are growing up in environments where we are told how to be and how to act, we start to disconnect and even shame parts of ourselves that maybe are offbeat, that are a little bit different, that are a little bit loud, a little bit too creative, and we all try to blend in. It's like that tribe mentality where thousands of years ago, if we didn't fit in, then we were unsafe.
We still carry that today in the really small part of our brain. “If we don't fit in with everybody else and we don't have a tribe, then we are unsafe.” So we quiet that feminine part of us. Unfortunately, having that feminine energy awake inside of our body is how we know what we are here to do. It's the creative, beautiful flowy part of us who makes us, us.
Then there's the masculine polarity. The masculine, when unbalanced is controlling, rigid burnout, stress hustle over logical, over analytical, perfectionism, workaholic... all of you are like, “yes, nodding my head. I'm an entrepreneur. I have been here. I get this.” Right? Especially when the business space is a very masculine dominated space.
And when we show up and we hustle and we stress and we overthink and we're in perfectionism, we're very rigid and everything has to look a certain way. Then it just creates more of that wounded masculine. But when we bring the masculine back into balance, the sacred masculine looks like sacred structure, discipline, focus, organization and grounded-ness. So the idea of having these two energies in balance is not to swing from one side of a pendulum to the other side of the pendulum.
We don't want to swing like, “Oh, I'm too far in my masculine. So now I have to swing way over here into my feminine. And now I'm not doing anything and I'm just creating so I better swing back into my masculine and start creating structure and organization.”
What will create harmony and balance in your life is creating a marriage between these two energies so they are both alive in their sacred expression all the time. If the feminine is awake in her creativity, abundance, intuition, receptivity, if she doesn't have that sacred masculine to come in and give her framework and structure and groundedness and focus, she will end up all over the place. That's why we end up with mind clutter and we're confused. We have a lack of boundaries and indecisiveness because we don't know where to go. The masculine comes in and gives that feminine direction.
But if we have too much direction, too much rigidity, too much structure and we lose the intuition, we lose the creativity.
We lose that connection with our flow and our receptivity. That's when the masculine becomes wounded and that's what we see a lot in business. Trying to stuff more structure, more organization, more how to in a situation where you're already kind of feeling overwhelmed, perfectionism. So we wake up that divine feminine. We understand who we are, what lights us up, what makes us feel intuitively guided the way that only we can understand it, our energetic blueprint for how we are supposed to walk on the planet, what feels fucking awesome for us in any moment. And then we bring in that masculine structure to help us feel grounded and supported.
I always like to think of it as a relationship where the woman is like, “Oh my gosh, how cool would it be to do this thing? This is my dream, my vision. I'm so excited. It's so big and beautiful and glamorous and flowy. And ah, just feels so good to see this vision.” And the masculine comes in and goes, “yes, baby, I got you. I got you. I will support you. I will help you. Like how can I help? How can we do this together? How can we co-create and together that partnership can create magic.”
So I'm going to give you a couple of tips for if your masculine and feminine energies are imbalanced.
Tune in with yourself, see where you're at. If you feel that your feminine energy -- the goddess energy that magnetizes your desires -- commands that masculine energy -- where to go -- it is the embodiment of radiance, abundance flow, ease and creativity.
But if she is out of balance, creating all of this stuff, creating all the goodness, overflowing with ideas which aren't getting anywhere, not standing in your power, not making the income that you want, not taking the action steps that you want, in overflow of creativity mode and nothing is moving. Here's what you can do:
NUMBER 1: Write out some tangible goals and guidelines. Create an action plan for your vision -- not just the vision, but actual tangible goals and guidelines.
NUMBER 2: Start taking massive action. Get out of creation mode and start taking action. In the beginning, this will be so messy. You are never going to feel ready. You just have to start creating momentum because momentum will feel so good. → I recommend creating a solid morning routine for yourself. Get up at the same time, workout, meditate, journal, and then get to your to do list.
- What do you have going on that day that has to get done inside of your business?
- Three things inside of your business that you can do to move the needle forward today.
- Do something every day that scares you.
On the other side of that fear is trusting yourself. The wounded feminine always has a little bit of trust issues often with other people and always with themselves.
So when we set out to do something, even though we're scared, we move forward a little bit. Every single day. It's like putting little deposits into that trust bank account for yourself, building up that trust in yourself. So you can continue to move forward, doing something that scares you. Hire the coach, get support, take the class, have the conversation. Say the thing that you need to say, be brave, say yes, own your shit.
Practicing boundaries. Where in your life are you saying “yes” to the things that you really want to say “no” to? Where are you giving that power away? I always ask myself in every situation, “does this serve my highest goddess self who makes the 10k, 20k, 50k, 100k months? The version of me who has the impact? Who has this life? Who is the mom and spouse that I want to be, my highest good. And my wildest vision in this life... does this thing support that?” And if it doesn't, set boundaries. Own your power, own your truth, allow yourself to be seen, show up, share your gifts, launch the business, get visible online, take what you need and create structure inside of your business.
Every single day will create trust. It will create forward moving momentum and it will create the structure that you need for your divine feminine to feel supported, so that she can play more, so that she can be more, so that she can flow more.
Okay, now let's talk about the masculine energy. The masculine energy is so powerful. If you want to bring your visions to life, if you want to bring those dreams to life, you need to fully embody this sacred masculine energy. We need the sacred masculine energy to help create the tangible action steps to bring the vision to fruition and the drive to actually follow through.
So if you keep giving up, it could be a masculine energy imbalance. We don't need to lean on force to make your dreams happen, we can lean into intuition. We can get quiet. We can trust the process. We don't have to hustle. We don't have to come from the wounded masculine business space anymore. We don't have to control the outcome. We can surrender. We don't have to hold so rigidly to the outcome of our goals. We can see the goal. We can work with aligned action every single day to show up and make that dream come alive. We can surrender and have a fuck ton of fun while we do it.
I knew I had a masculine imbalance when I started my business because I came from the entrepreneur generation of never shut your phone off, always be available, work so hard every single day. And even when it's not working, keep plugging away, keep going, keep hustling, more people, more numbers, more money... I burnt out many times, bawling my eyeballs out in the shower, having to take weeks off of my business because I just could not.
I could NOT. And that is such an unsustainable way to build a business. So if this is you, it's all good.
When you are tired, stop, when you are tired, take a break. Honor your energy because a few really connected hours are far more productive than a whole bunch of washed out hours. Or you're exhausted. You're only putting 10% of your magic into the shit that you're doing anyways.
Having these boundaries does not mean that you're weak. It means that you're revitalizing who you are. So you can show up as your best self, because I need you as your best self. Your people need you as your best self. The world needs you with a full cup, get creative and bring more play into your day. Painting, singing, drawing, make a digital photo, express yourself.
Even if you think you aren't creative, go and sign up for a class. I know when my masculine was really out of imbalance and I was striving so hard, putting so much meaning behind hitting my goals, when I was so focused on showing up and just go, go, go, go, go when I had completely disconnected myself from who I am, I really had to rebuild that relationship with myself. And that started with me just following small curiosities throughout my day. Even the things that I wasn't good at, I tried it at least twice.
I actually have found so much joy and so many little blessings inside of my day because I forced myself to be playing, having dance breaks, moving my body, delegating, asking for help. This isn't a weakness. When you delegate, you allow support to come in, which opens up that heart chakra and allows more receptivity, more abundance, and it calls in all kinds of magic into your life.
If you don't delegate and you close off that receptivity, it's the same gate that you're closing off, that your money comes through. Your soul comes through opportunities. Come through understanding and connection comes through you close that off. So allow yourself to be supported. Ask for help, hire a coach, hire a team, hire a VA, ask your hubby to help, ask for help from family, offload some of the shit that is on your plate. Stop multitasking. Allow yourself to find more joy inside of your day. One thing that I really love doing to awaken the feminine energy inside of my body, which can help heal the masculine dominance and help you reconnect to who you are is incorporating meditation, journaling and Kundalini every single day.
Kundalini is designed to awaken the feminine energy inside of your body. It connected me so much to who I am and who I am here to be. It was such a powerful practice, it's like a remembrance for me, who I am. And then when I show up and I do the things that I need to do, I feel more grounded. I feel more connected. I feel more alive. I feel more passionate about life. So nail down your morning routine and in your morning routine combine masculine and feminine activities.
Intense exercise and a Kundalini journaling practice. Those are my two tools that awaken both energies inside of my body in the first hour that I wake up. And then from there, before I start my Workday, I have my to-do list. I know exactly what I'm doing for that day, masculine energy. And then I have my ritual, feminine energy.
I might pull a tarot card. I might use manifesting spray. I might take five minutes to journal out “what do I desire inside of my business? Who is my soulmate soulmate client? What am I here to do? What is the magic that I am here to create?”
We want to feel one. We want to feel synchronistic. We want to feel balanced. We want to feel harmony inside of the body. So we can't guilt or shame or think that any part of us is bad or wounded or flawed. We just have to create awareness of where we are at inside of our life, in our business, in our relationships, what feels really good and what feels kind of wacky or not good. How can we lean into more? What feels good and how can we adjust and shift the things that don't feel aligned so that we can come back into harmony?
Are you too far in the masculine too far in the feminine? Are you implementing new things? How is that going for you?It is just so powerful when we start to learn about these parts of ourselves.